When it comes to naming our pets, sometimes it’s hard to resist giving them a joke name—some of them much less appropriate than others.
Naming your goat can be a difficult task, but when you’ve got a goat that’s perhaps a bit naughty, or that you just feel deserves a funnier or more inappropriate name, choosing one is even harder.
Today, we’re going to look at some inappropriate names for goats—from the rude to the simple pun, to the eye-rolling reference, and everything in between.
Let’s get started!
Butter
Though it might seem innocent on its face, one of the easiest ways to come up with an inappropriate name for your goat is to insert butt somewhere in the name.
Butter is a great start—it’s a bit more subtle, so you can get away with explaining it away to your parents!
But goats do butt, and they’ll also butt you in the butt!
So, butter is a simple and effective inappropriate goat name.
Butthead
Following on from that theme, Butthead is a bit less subtle.
This might be a good one for a goat that isn’t as bright as the rest of his herd—or one who just likes conflict a bit more.
Some goats are certainly a lot more combative than others, and this is a great name for goats like that.
It says everything you need to know about the goat!
Butty
A simple naming technique is always just to stick an -ee sound on the end of a funny word.
What better way to go about this than Butty?
I think this one speaks for itself—another great name for a boisterous goat.
Buttinsky
Our final entry in the butt theme, one that makes it sound a bit sophisticated—but is essentially still the same silly joke!
There are many famous artists whose names end in -insky, though the actor Kominsky may be the most obvious.
This is another silly butt name for your goat that is a bit more elegant than others.
Scapegoat
Of course, we must also remember that goats are historically a symbol for blame—and that goats were often used to carry the sins of the people and then sent into the wilderness.
Thus, we don’t have to confront our bad behavior!
This is a common and well-known phrase and naming your goat after it gives you a chance to impress people with your knowledge of the Bible.
Ramsey
While naming your goat after a famous chef could be interpreted in different ways, many could take it in one way: as a playful insult to the chef.
And what’s better is that it works really well as a goat pun: goats like to ram things!
This is a great name for your goat.
Killer
Simple, effective, with a clear meaning: killer the goat sounds like a bad guy!
It’s always a safe bet to name any pet this way and give it a slightly dark feeling and inappropriate undertone.
This could be great for really large goats, or again goats that can get a bit fighty.
Baphomet
Baphomet is an occult symbol, and one of the most recognizable in the western world today.
A goat deity associated with satanism and many other perceived evils over the years, this is another simple and effective one that most people will instantly recognize.
This may make some quite uncomfortable!
Vincent van Goat
Who doesn’t love a pun name?
That’s why we’ve included more than a couple on our list.
You might have to shorten this one down a bit to be able to call the goat a lot, but everyone will instantly get the joke and again it plays a bit on a beloved artist.
Goatzart
Staying on the theme of the most widely respected artists of past centuries: Goatzart.
Though we associate Mozart with elegance, class, and high society, by all accounts he was a raunchy and highly inappropriate individual.
Playing on his name with Goatzart is a great pun name that, again, everyone will get.
For a bit of extra whammy, you could even use his full name: Amadeus Goatzart.
Who says Mozart is all serious?
Hillbilly
Here in the U.S., we’ve dealt with a lot of hillbilly jokes over the years.
Some, of course, cross a line—but playfully naming your goat Hillbilly is a fun way to honor the realities of life in the southern U.S., especially if you come from that region and hear that word a lot!
Billy the kid
This one certainly isn’t the most inappropriate on this list, but it works on a few levels.
Billy, of course, is often what we call old male goats.
Kids are what we call their offspring!
Billy the kid, if you haven’t heard of him—which would be surprising—was an outlaw and gunslinger in the Old West.
One of the most famous outlaws ever, this is a great inappropriate name for your goat.
Credit card
How do you stop a goat from charging?
Cancel its credit card!
This one is really quite silly, and you’ll probably find yourself explaining it to everyone who learns its name. but it’s a funny play on the idea of people using other’s credit cards, and of course the pun on the word charging.
Some of these are certainly sillier than others, but they all have a story behind them.
Whether you’re a fan of puns, of references, or whatever source we’ve gotten these inappropriate goat names from, there will be something here for your mischievous goats.
These are the best inappropriate goat names we know!